Action speaks louder than words?

Every now and then, everyone goes through this phase. I've been there a couple of times, but yet it doesn't seem easier. Being brought up in a family where verbal expression of love is rarely used, I have somehow grown to seek it. Just like my riend Judith laughed when she saw me hugging a pillow while sleeping. She said maybe it's because I didn't get hugged a lot a a child, that I'm making up for it now.

There is still a sense of disbelief in me when I've heard the words I wanted to, but yet can't see the actions that support it. But yet, when there's only actions, and the words are contradictory i.e. I don't love you but I do all these nice things all the same, it is just as disturbing as well. Time and again, I try to convince myself that the actions and words will eventually support each other one day, but it is rarely so. I think I can even count with one hand, the number of times my parents have said "I love you" to me, and vice versa. I easily type out "love" in emails and text messages, but saying it out is something else. Is it better to go for actions alone, and forget about the words? But what do we do if we need to hear those words? Isn't that what communication is about? We can't live a life always trying to guess what the other person is feeling. I know I like it very much when friends compliment me,and they tell me they enjoy spending time with me. It's a confirmation of the good times we had, and I know for sure they enjoyed it as much as I do.

I believe it's the actions behind the words that has the power to impact someone's life and most importantly express love for one another! It is a risk and a sacrifice to measure up the actions with the words. Words are easy, but sacrifices have to be made to put the actions together with it; and actions are easy, but risks have to be made to express your vulnerability by saying what you feel.

There is a need to find a balance between words and action, and that's something I would want to learn, and I feel is very important for developing a good relationship with anyone. There will be people who might hurt me along the way as I open myself, and they don't appreciate my time, love and attention, but I will become more alive and open to life and understand the true meaning of love.

Christmas is all about love. A baby boy who grew up and showed us what true love means. Share your love with others this Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone! Remember Jesus is the reason for this season!!

Christmas Wish List

Every year, around Christmas and New Year, I make a list of 10 things that I would like to accomplish/have for the coming year. This year, a few things came to pass.... I got a bf, a laptop, a car, a nice room to settle for the remaining years, a CG in Utrecht. Next year, I will miss what I calculated to be the "perfect" age to having a first child, PhD is jus too taxing for having a baby. Moreover, I don't even know what the status of my relationship is, to even think he is considering marriage, what more about having babies with him. Shucks, time flies! Now I can't accomplish my dream of having my kids finish uni by the time I'm 50. For the coming year:

Career:

1. A paper published in a journal with impact factor >10

2. A scholarship/fellowship to go for CSHL course

Money matters:

3. Start investing, putting aside 100 Euros for it; and saving minimum 500 Euros/month

4. Spend more on personal stuff i.e. more fashionable clothes, better beauty products etc., improving my looks and style. Looks count!

Spiritual life:

5. My mum and dad to come to Christ

6. Lead a CG in Utrecht with a minimum of 5 regular ppl

7. Spend at least 30 minutes/day reading the bible/praying

Family and friends:

8. Allocate more time for family and friends i.e. see family once a year/sponsor them a ticket to come visit; and reply emails and calls of friends more reliably.

9. Communicate more by phone or if possible in person, and not email/text/chat especially about important issues.

10. Bring my relationship with my bf to another level; hopefully with the distance nearer it'll be better.

Emotional, phsychological growth:

11. Be more organized

12. Stop hurrying around, and relax more

13.Drill it in my head that God loves me, and if others don't, it's their loss, and I shouldn't be sad about it. Can't please everyone, ignore those that don't and treasure more those that do love me.

Creativity:

14. Start drawing again, have relaxing creative moments in the weekend.

15. Pen down ideas for writing a book.

Health:

16. Eat less unhealthy food, and keep a balanced diet.

17. Eat breakfast, and go back home to eat/bring dinner if staying in lab late.

18. Join some physical activity i.e jazzdance or aerobics.

Whoops, that's 18 things.... oh well... aim for the sky they say, and if you fall, u'll crush into a million pieces? All those things just as important, can't leave any out.

Sinterklaas Celebration

All the gifts wrapped as a surprise!

Gisti and her Pakjebot

Judith and her Hello Kitty

Anke and her Lieshoutse Eppje

Carina and her Paardje





Ricky and his beer!

























My Sinterklaas present! Awwww.... my darling Tom!

Faraway...

*from xkcd.com

Sinterklaas

It's 2 days to Sinterklaas!! Our lab decided to take half the day off (unofficially!!! Naughty us... when the cat is gone, the mice come out to play!) to celebrate Sinterklaas. Sinterklaas or St. Nicolaas is like Santa Claus. He is a few thousand years old, and he comes and give presents to little kids, stuffing their SHOES with gifts and such. As a thank you note, kids are supposed to leave carrots for the DONKEY of Sinterklaas. And probably also to attract the donkey to make a stopover at their house. For the adults who knows the SECRET of Sinterklaas, of course we have to help Sinterklaas who is ever so busy, and we help him buy gifts for our friends. And not only that, we have to write a ridiculous POEM to go along with it!!!! Either that or make a SURPRISE like a paper mache or something.

Went and did my Sinterklaas shopping on Saturday. Couldn't think of what surprise to make. I decided to get it over with, and wrote my poem for Maria (whom I'm supposed to buy the gift for). Found a Sinterklaas poem Generator, but realized my level of Dutch is not good enough. So only wrote 2 sentences in Dutch, and the rest in English. I realized to make it rhyme, it's quite difficult to limit myself to the simplest words.... but what to do.... Maria speaks minimal English. Hope she at least enjoy the gift. Got her a Ponche Kuba (www.ponchekuba.com):

Sint en Piet zat te bedenken,
Wat ze Maria nu eens zouden schenken.
Sint asked Piet to call the wind,
“Sun is what she needs” he grinned.
The wind blew and blew and blew,
And Sint and Piet caught the flu.
They sat wrapped in layers of blanket,
Piet says “Why don’t we get her a jacket?”
“We should get her something fun” says Sint.
As he says that his eyes sparkle and glint.
“We’ll get her something close to Brazil,
That she can have after a nice meal!”
And with a red and runny nose,
Piet ran to the shop before they close.
And this present he got for you,
With warm greetings from Sint to you.

9/11

Only ppl who have too much free time on their hands can think of such a thing....

Check out this site: http://www.glennbeck.com/news/05172002.shtml for more....