i passed!

Remember like ages ago, I blogged about failing my driving exams.... today after many months, I finally passed!!! Woo hoo!! Can go on road trip!!! Yaaay!! And drive legally to church!!! It's really good timing, coz winter is here, and when I work really late, it's freezing cold, and I prefer to be inside a car than cycle home. It has been a struggle... a traumatic experience actually. It affected me so much that I don't even talk about it. Defense mechanism.... like when someone is upset, they build a wall, that was I felt. I didn't wanna talk about it, just in case I start getting all emotional and cry everytime I failed. This exam felt beyond my control, and it was something I had a hard time grasping. But praise God, I've learnt to let go of myself.

Sent my car to the garage also, and got the batteries and wipers changed. Other parts of the car is in good condition. So the car is ready for me to drive!!! Gonna go to the Gemeentehuis (townhall) to give my photo and passport on Monday, and in a week's time, I can collect my license!! With a Dutch license, I can basically drive anywhere.... Sweden.... America.... Singapore (at least I looked up these places, coz these are the places I plan to go within the next 10 years.

Anyway, this was my 5th try.... and after the 4th try, you're kinda labelled "Special" and sent to the state exam. It starts off with a nice chat with the examiner, and they ask you what was wrong the previous times etc. And when you are ready, you get into the car and drive. He was very nice, because he said as long as I don't repeatedly do the same mistake, or make dangerous moves, I will pass. It was a pretty smooth drive... only one small part I drove 80km/hour... and he told me to slow down and ask me what the speed limit was... and I told him "Oh, 70km/hour" He just smiled and said "good" guess he was happy that at least I knew. Hahah! At the end of the ride, he commented in Dutch "blessed ride"... not sure what he meant by that, but it was good I guess. Guess he felt blessed that he survived the drive...hahah! Then after he told me I passed, I was sooo happy I hugged him! Hahahah!

In the red circle at the bottom of the form it says "voldoende"= sufficient = pass!!!!!!

One of the best birthdays ever!

The week of my birthday was the best ever!!! The only thing lacking was having my family with me! My previosu post, I was being emo about lotsa stuff including the fact that I couldn't see my bf on my birthday. But much to my delight, Sam came over and pampered me the whole week!!! I get to eat the yummy kiam-chai-ak-teng (salted vegetable duck soup).... and many other yummy stuff! Was pleasantly surprised that Sam could cook so well! What makes it so special is that he doesn't like cooking, but yet he still cooks for me. Thanks hunny! Luv you much much!

On the day of my birthday itself, we played laser quest, which is something like paint-ball (they should rename it PAIN-ball), but with no pain. Then in the evening, had a few friends over for steamboat. My non-Asian friends unfortunately doesn't know how to eat steamboat... poor Sam had to do all the work.

My friends: (L-R) Andrei, Andrei's wife Ana, Me, Maria, Susan, Rick, Venecia, Vincent

Twister time!! Susan was good!!!

Sam was even better.... hmm... what kinda awkward position is this???

Pick up the cardboard box game. The idea of the game is to pick up the box with your mouth. Only your feet can be on the ground. Knees, elbows and hands not allowed to touch the floor. I think this game must have been created by Asians... hahah! Thanks to our squatting down toilets, and ketuk ketampi we had to do when we were kids, we can easily squat down with our feets flat on the ground.

Susan with her pulling pants up secret tip.

Maria practising qigong...

Piece of cake...

Just found out I had a competitor...who has the same position as me!

All in all a great birthday!!!

Emo

I'm being emo. I guess everytime around this time of the month, when hormones go a bit haywire... I get a bit emo. I submitted my paper 3 times oredi, to 3 different journals. They all say the same thing. Your work is good BUT not good enough. The experiments they are asking is really not easy to do. These people don't understand how difficult it is to do something that is not a norm for zebrafish research... it'll be easy if I work with cell cultures or mouse models. But no choice ler, either I trash my journal into a crappy journal or just try to do the experiment. There goes another month or so (if I'm lucky) of my precious PhD time. Then, next I week I might not be able to see Sam. Sighz. All I wanted for my birthday was to be with him, but he can't come over. I can't go over because I just went over a few weeks ago... and I can't keep taking leave on Friday, because that's work discussion day with my supervisor. It's like when my mum says that we are eating Hokkien Mee for dinner, and then she changed her mind. The thought of Hokkien Mee just keeps running through my brain, and I can't do anything else. Never give me hope unless there really is hope of 99% of becoming a reality. I'd rather be surprised than disappointed. I'm just so frustrated, upset, sad, disappointed... and to top it off, my butt still hurts!! Like I said... I'm being emo.... aaarrrggghhh!!! Off to sleep.... tomorrow another day of writing and writing and writing.... better work than let my thoughts wander....

Is this love?

I used to be cynical about relationships. I always wonder how people can stay together for 50 years, and still carry the sparks with them. I always wonder how is it that when two people see each other everyday, they still have so many things to talk about. Don't they get bored after awhile? Now I realize, that being in a relationship with a special someone is "addictive".... the more you see the person, the more you want to see the person. The more you talk to the person, the more you realize things about the person you've never realized before, and it's fascinating, and you want to talk more to the person. The more you hold the person close, the closer you want to hold the person in your arms. It's never enough. I guess that's what a whole lifetime with a person is for, to share with each other ourselves, because a day, a week, a month or a year is never enough to be with the person. Is this love? If it is, I'm "addicted"...

Vincent's wedding

6th September - Vincent's wedding, and the first time I step foot into Belgium! Exciting!!! So, four of us, Anke, Paula, Andrei and I went on a road-trip to Belgium! It's also the first time I've brought my car on such a long trip. Anke drove of course, since I haven't passed my driving license exams. Weather was BEE-OOO-TI-FUL! It took us 2 hours 15 minutes to arrive at the church... following Lisa (Dana's navigator). We did pretty well, considering we only took one wrong turn. Vincent and Ade came in a cute little vintage car... hmmm... I think I would like that too for my wedding, instead of the normal "big car". Ade was somehow just as I imagined her to be. She looked lovely! Her wedding gown was very simple, and she didn't even have a train or veil! No bridesmaids or flower girls either! I guess weddings are done differently in Belgium. We sat at the back, coz we're pretty insignificant. Just colleagues. So couldn't take good photos or videos either, especially with my digital camera. Sam would have been able to take better photos with his camera. The whole ceremony was conducted in Belgian, so it was quite hard for me to follow. It started with Ade's sister (I think), reading a chapter from The Little Prince. I'm not entirely sure how that fits into "marriage" sense, but I think it was about companionship. Then, the Pastor said something, mother said something, Vincent's brother sang a song, Vincent's dad sang a song, aunt said someting, sister said something... it felt like everyone one in the family went forward to say something. Anyway, the the bride and groom went up to the altar place thingy (I don't know what the exact term is for the place where the Chatholic Priest usually stands), and they said their "I do". I thought I would hear some self-written vows, since Vincent even designed their wedding rings. But it was just the typical vows. And then they exchanged candles, which I'm not sure what it symbolizes. According to Paula, it's a Belgian thing, because Dutch weddings don't do that. The ceremony ended with a prayer for the couple, everyone saying the Lord's prayer (first time I say it in Belgian/Dutch!), a communion, and Vincent's brother singing another song (he can really sing!). We were invited to the the wedding reception after that. I was all ready to catch the bouquet, but apparently there's no such thing. Sighz. The first church wedding I attend, and I don't even get to have the excitement of bouquet catching! All in all, it was really nice wedding. A lovely couple. Congratulations, and may your marriage blossom and your love grow day by day! - can't seem to upload photos- aaarrgggh!! so, u'll just have to use your imagination.

Happiness..

Sam came over to Europe yesterday! Super happy. Finally can see each other more often. =) I've had enough of living on opposite sides of the world. But I didn't regret starting it. We've learned more about each other this 1.5 years, than we did for the last 7 years.

Wadlopen

On the weekend of 9th and 10th August, I went with ING (nope, not the bank, but rather International Neighbour Group) to the very north of The Netherlands. We drove for 2 hours in a minibus, to a place called Groningen, where to stopped to have lunch and had a guided city tour. I ended up taking loads of photos while half paying attention to what the tour guide was saying. I have short attention span, unless it's really interesting.

University of Groningen:


























Carpet of grass???




















Nope, it's actually moss covered water! Yucks! This is the other side of the water, where there is a bit of water flow:




















The first Dutch woman Doctor, and the first woman who entered university. She has a "don't mess with me" look:

























At the Grote Markt church:


























So much effort to get this photo with a normal digital camera. Had to almost touch the bee to get such clarity. But pretty proud of myself.




















Old meets new:




















Another pretty flower. Think I'm influenced by Sam....

























The best attraction I find in Groningen. So cute!! It's a dental clinic.

How to dismantle a washing machine...

Step 1: Remove all the covers



























Step 2: Remove all the concrete blocks

Step 3: Push out the inside drum

And finally.....

Happy happy days...

My good friend Ley Poh from university got married. Well legally she's been married for a year now, but she only had her wedding dinner and ceremony in May when I was back home in KL. So had the chance to cleebrate this joyous day with her! Yippee! Kinda funny how I used to keep teasing her that YP (her hubby) likes her and that she should consider him and she kept denying it. We were really close in uni, but since we left, just contact each other now and then. Kinda sad... but oh well, she's in Germany now. Maybe we'll get to meet up more often.

Group photo of all the UPM Biotech 2004

The bride and the groom

The ladies and the groom

Malaysia for Unity

Not bad... quite catchy tune...

I will get my Dutch driving license!!!

I will get my Dutch driving license... sooner or later!!!! No Dutch exam is too difficult for me!!!! I'm gonna have faith I'll pass the next time round!!!! Pray I don't get another pompous ol' examiner the next time round! I'm not gonna give up! I wanna get my driving license before he gets here!!!

What's wrong with Malaysia?

People say that when you go abroad to study, you broaden your horizon... and I think that's very true. Not in terms of the study itself, but more on what I've seen in people, the system here, the country, and compare it objectively with what I'm used to for the past 20 odd years in Malaysia. The term the grass is always greener on the other side is so very true. Before I came over to this side of the world, I was really a "katak di bawah tempurung". For me England was located between Europe and Russia, and images of England were those I see from Pride and Prejudice or Mr.Bean. And I imagined Holland to be infested with drugs and prostitutes, amongst some milkmaids. Boy... was I wrong... After having lived in England and Netherlands for several years, I have seen and experienced the true picture of the Western developed world.

The hottest topic among Malaysians now is the rise in the oil price. True, the increase is rather drastic... very drastic I would say. But for a true change to happen, drastic measures has to be taken. However, as much as I think it is reasonable that the oil price is increased, the government should have taken steps to improve the public transport system. Memories from school still haunts me... of waiting for hours for the bus to go home! Here in NL, the bus comes every 10-15 minutes, and during peak hour, even every 4-7 minutes! The people here are just as savage as us Malaysians... it's the survival of the fittest... whoever is strongest gets on the bus, or in my case, small enough to squeeze between everyone. England is better.... even if there are 60 people waiting for the bus, there is an orderly queue. Now back to the oil price... we cannot compare ourselves to major oil producers of the world. Although we are an oil producing country, oil is NOT out major commodity! We are not even in the top 15 oil producers in the world! If were to compare directly everything, then for example Holland is a dairy product producer. I actually pay RM5/liter of milk! Do Malaysians even pay that much?? You CANNOT compare the exchange rate, and say that the other oil producing countries pay so much less (in RM) for their oil! There are things that are cheaper in their country and things which are more expensive. There is always a balance. I do agree that the timing for this increase in oil was not very timely. People are already struggling with the hike in rice, electricity and food in general. And this does ADD to the burden of the people. But one thing I noticed (and I am also myself, so I have the right to criticize), is that Malaysians are extremely lazy and pampered and do not care at all about the environment. Because everything has been so comfortable, oil is so cheap, and driving is so convenient that we drive EVERYWHERE! Even if the place is within walking distance. I actually used to drive from one building to the next, which is only 2 minutes walking distance. That was how lazy I was. Now, because the price of petrol is so high here, I have to keep a close tab of how much I drive. Even then, I do still carry the "laziness" gene, and drive from my house to my workplace which is 15 minutes walking distance and less than 5 minutes biking distance... but I do that only during the winter when the weather is cold and rainy, or when I have to stay past midnite in the lab. But actually by driving such short distances so often, we are killing the environment. But for convenience, we Malaysians overlook it. I think it's a good move to increase the price... not because I'm not living there, and I don't feel the pinch (my parents and sister are still living there, and I would like them to live as comfortably as possible)... but because it's time for us to change... we should think twice about driving, and to think more for the environment. So Malaysians, don't complain. I pay RM8/liter. And the price of rice for me now is RM50/5kg. If you want to compare RM to RM, then compare with me.

HOWEVER (there's always a however), I think the standard of living is VERY high in Malaysia. But the thing is Malaysians seem to like it very much. I earn less than an average Bachelors graduate ($1650). I have to think 5X before I buy a shoe that's $20, a shirt that's $15 or a dress that's $25. I have to wait for ZARA to have sales, and buy the items which are in a pile for $3/T-shirt. And for food, I have to cook at home because eating is so expensive outside, so I spend about $30/week on groceries. But Malaysians who are JUST students, or new graduates (who earns let's say $2000) easily buys a shoe for more than $100, a shirt for $60 or a dress for $150. And food... well... Malaysians are known to eat A LOT... when I was in UPM, I spend at least $100/week on food! There's breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper, late supper... and because all requires eating outside, it would at least e $3/meal. That was 5 years ago... now it's probably $5/meal. But it has NEVER occured to us to save money and COOK instead. It was just more convenient to eat out! When I was back home, and met a high school friend who lives in UK now, she was just complaining about how expensive things are... we ate at Dome, and it was on average like $20 per person! And the thing is it's such a norm to do that! These restaurants or cafes are ALWAYS packed! I sometimes eat out with my friends here, and it costs also about $25/person... but I do that less than 5 times a year! I do it more often nowadays because I want to treat and bless my friends who are students. But 90% of the time, when I eat with my friends, I invite them to my place and cook for them. It's not because I'm great at cooking or like it sooo much, but it is more economical.

HOWEVER... there are GOOD things about Malaysia, that nobody notices. For example, I was really dissapointed with the medical system here. The procedure here goes like this... sick... call clinic to make appointment.... appointment in 1 week.... sick for 1 week.... appointment time... too sick to go to clinic/sometimes if lucky feel better already... and if manage to see doctor, get perscription.... hunt for pharmacy.... get medicine from Pharmacy. In Malaysia, sick... go to clinic... wait max 1 hour (if private probably immediately or 5 min)... see doctor... get medicine (from the clinic). Being sick here is such a hassle that I don't dare to be sick! My boss knows now that if I'm sick, I just call and tell her that I'll sleep at home for a day. Doctors suck here! I used to think Malaysian doctors sucks... but at least I've met one doctor that I like, she was my child doctor. I have yet to meet one here that is good. Either their English is not good, or I seem to know more than them! And to think they study for 6 years!!

#2 is the income tax. My measly pay gets taxed 35%! In Malaysia, for that amount, I don't think you'll even be taxed! And it's obligatory for me to get a health insurance, which is not paid by the company, and that costs about $100-120/month (The good thing is if you are terminally ill, the insurance company CANNOT deny you an insurance policy just as the others have). Taxes and third party insurance only for driving a medium sized car (like an iswara) is $40-50/month. Parking is $2.50/hour!! How can you even compare that to the comfortable lifestyle in Malaysia!! We Malaysians just spend and spend and spend our money unnecessarily and complain how expensive things are!

No doubt politically.... there are things which has to be changed. Corruption does run quite high, so does nepotism... public transport system has to change... we should STOP trying to "beat"others unnecessarily by having the tallest building (which would not last long)... or go on silly trips to the moon and do silly tests which does not impact the world one bit, and is not even with our won technology.....or build unnecessary projects like the BioValley (which I had so much hope in) which is now a white elephant. Channel the money towards good use. Charge higher taxes if necessary, increase oil prices if necessary... but please channel the money to good use. Leaders... lead well. Malaysians... live well... and stop the complaining. Open your eyes and be truly objective to what is fair and what is not. I will not give up on Malaysia. She is my home.

oh my heart yearn...

Saw a couple walking hand in hand, and the girl was smiling and looked up, and the guy bent down and kissed her. I miss him....

Blog moron

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Lack of inspiration to blog + Lazy to blog = Blog moron. Been back home to KL, Malaysia for 3.5 weeks. It was really really nice to be home after such a long absence. Many things has changed since the last time I went back:

1. My sis has a baby, and she's almost 9 months old now. She's such a cutie! I call her Si Menangis (Miss Cry Baby) because she is such a pampered princess and cries all the time. But she is just sooo adorable, that it's hard to be annoyed with her! She probably hates me, because I'm the only one who doesnt give in to her whims. Church kids ministry has toughen me up against babies crying.

2. Shopping complexes have evolved. Mid Valley Megamall now has an extra wing called the Gardens... which houses super posh brands. There is also Pavillion in Bukit Bintang area, which is also another posh place. Even Suria KLCC has an extra wing... shopping bliss.....

3. The squatter houses near my parent's place has all been cleared away. Look even uglier now... barren land.... and the squatter house just next to the river opposite my parent's house is also gone. Don't seem to see the scary mad looking red eyed dog anymore, but there are new addition to the family now, 2 crippled dogs. The "owners" still come and "feed" the dogs i.e. throw a plastic bag of food in the middle of the road.... and the dogs just rip it open.....sheesh... talk about civic mindedness.

4. Bus 165 Len Seng has been replaced by Rapid KL?!?!? 165 brings back such memories.... actually mostly really bad ones... but oh well, bad experiences build character eh?

5. CIty Harvest Church is now more than 1000 members!! Wow! I barely know anyone there now. The first week, I even had to sit in the overflow area OUTSIDE the church. It was scorching hot! The message was good, so it was worth it.

But some things remain the same....

Hokkien mee good as ever.....
Wantan mee good as ever....
All SJI teachers are still there...
Sisters annoying as ever... well, sometimes in a good way *grin*
Dad still has his "plantation" ... this time it was pineapples.

too many too list.... lazy liao.... that's it lar. I gave my 20% perspiration to write this blog....

No-rice diet...

Rice that was $5.25 is now $9.50.... that's like a whooping 50% increase!!! Sighz.... I live on rice... a lot of rice!!! Luckily I bought a lot of spices to make noodle dishes..... gotta cut down on rice now. How am I supposed to gain weight this way when the price of food that I eat keeps shooting up?!??! Bread stays the same.... but I HATE bread! Oh woe is me...

Why God why?

Sometimes I don't understand why God allows His good faithful children to suffer illnesses. No matter how hard I tried to think logically, I just don't understand, and I probably never will. My aunt has a growth in her stomach, that has to be removed. They don't know whether it's benign or malignant, and apparently, it's also quite hard to determine whether it has spread. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with chronic lymphoblastic leukaemia. I never heard about it for awhile, so I assumed that everything was alright, and that it just disappeared or the doctors were wrong. She's always very careful with what she eats... and maintains a good diet. I did some google-ing and apparently, stomach cancer is induced by eating too much salty food, and not enough fruits and vegetables. That actually sounds more like me than her! Now I look at my instant noodles, and I don't even know whether I want to eat them anymore. I love my aunt very very much. When I was in university (UPM), I had an "incident" with my housemate, which made me want to move out immediately. I just cried, and called my aunt and asked whether I could stay with her. And without even questioning me, she said yes. I stayed there for a year or so. She's been also the one who's been praying for my salvation all these while. I enjoyed all the chats we had when I was staying with her. She's an aunt, and she's also like a good friend. We had such good laughs together, teasing each other. And nobody actually told me that she is sick. I had to find out from my cousin's blog! Sighz. I hate it sometimes. I want to know what's going on with the people I love. I don't want to be just told happy stories. I want to share the difficult moments as well. Isn't that what family is about? I wish that I could be there for my aunt, and my cousins. It must hard for all of them. Despite how annoying and irresponsible and naughty and lazy and trouble-causing my cousins are, they love their mum, and it must be a difficult moment for them. I called my aunt's house a couple of times, but never ever able to reach them. Either nobody's in, or line gets cut off. That's the most difficult thing about being far away. I never get to be there for the people I love. Happy moments like my sis' wedding and my niece's birth I wasn't there to witness it.... sad moments like my grandparent's death and now my aunt's operation, also I'm no able to be there to give emotional support. All I can do is pray... pray... pray. Lord, I really put Ah-Yee into your mighty hands. Heal her Lord. Give her and my cousins strength Lord to go through this. And give the doctors wisdom and steady hands to perform the operation well. She is Yours Lord! Heal her, and remove every single thing that shouldn't be in her body. And Lord, let her have quick and complete recovery! I trust You Lord, and I put all my faith in You. And if you believe in God, pray with me too ok?

Theory Exam

I passed my Driving Theory Exam!! Woo hoo!! Now can go on the next step to take the practical exam. Halfway there to getting my driving license... and be someone's "chauffeur"

Minimum requirement to pass is 6 mistakes and that's what I got!! Hahaha!! The questions asked were really stupid. Some questions asked during the exam which I still don't know what the answer is:

Q: For whom do you have to adjust the head rest properly?

A. The driver

B. The driver and front passenger

C. The driver and all passengers

Q: How long does it take for your body to break down a normal glass of alcohol?

A. 15 minutes

B. 1 hour

C. 1 hour 30 minutes

In the book, I know it's 0.1 promille per hour.... but how many promille is a glass of alcohol!?!?!!?!?! How many promille is a pint of beer?!?!?! Shucks!!! At that moment, I just wished that I drink alcohol! I just put C.... figured take 50/50 chance..... its either B or C, but obviously the longer, the better no?

Question from book:

Q: Before you start to overtake...

A. You must always correctly judge the speed and distance of oncoming traffic

B. You realize that you are not always able to judge the speed o oncoming traffic correctly

Answer= B (what the?!?!?) Obviously Malaysian logic and Dutch logic is different!

Really a miracle I passed!!! Sam texted me "I'm sure you passed with flying colours...." Hahahahah!! I almost laughed my head off! Out of 16 people taking the exam, only 5 of us passed!!! That's like less than 1/3 passing rate leh! Crazy!! I'm sooo thankful I passed! Before the exam, there was a girl (also from Utrecht) sitting next to me, looking at her notes, and asked me some questions she didnt understand. And she was sooo lucky, because I dunno why I just flipped open the book, and I happened to come across some stuff which I thought were confusing, and explained the differences to her, and told her to be careful. It must be a moment of revelation..... because 4 questions came out from that part!!!! She passed the exams too, also 44/50 like me! Hahahah!

Why so difficult? First, the exam is computerized and timed. For one question, I wanted to type in the answer 20cm (which I know for sure is the correct answer), and I accidentally pressed 2,0, and by the time i press cancel to change my answer, the timer was up!!!! Arrrrggghh!! The silly little computer keyboard thing is as small as the keys on the atm machine, how do they expect you to type so fast without making mistakes!!! And it's in a groove, so that you can't see each other's answer when they press the keys. And that makes it even harder, because you have to put your hand in an awkward position! But whatever it is... I passed!!! Woo hoo!!! Praised God!!! Other exams for uni, I put sweat and tears to study for it, and with God's grace I always do well. But this is like 100% God, I feel! Hahahahah!! Whoever is going to take the exam..... STUDY!!! It is definitely NOT easy!

Supervisors can surprise you...

Dana: Blah..blah... so Jin, we should really try to submit the paper before you go back home.

Jinny: Erm, yea... I'll see how it goes. We still have to subclone the gene, inject into the mutants, do immuno, and analyze.... and we have only 2 weeks or so left....

Dana: Well, you could cancel your holiday and go home later....

Jinny: Erm... so you're going to pay for my ticket then?

Dana: So how much is it?

Jinny: About 810 Euros.....

Dana: Well, yea I'll pay for it if you go home later.

Jinny: Well... erm.... ermmmmmmm........................................*speechless*

NO WAY!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!! MY WORK IS MY PASSION BUT THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT!! I WANNA SEE MY PARENTS, MY SISTERS, MY CUTE LITTLE NIECE (THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN MET!!), MY ADORABLE LIL' GRANDMA, MY AUNTS AND COUSINS AND OF COURSE MY DEARIE!!! EVEN IF SHE PAYS ME AN EXTRA 800 EUROS I WON'T POSTPHONE GOING HOME!!!!

Too many things

Too many things running through my brain,
Will I have time to rest or go insane,
My heart's a mess,
And my soul's all troubled,
Give me peace Lord,
Your grace I behold.

Too many things going on,
What should I choose to focus,
My head's spinning,
My gut feeling's jumbled,
Give me your guidance Lord,
Your wisdom will be my stronghold.

I am yours Lord
To mould, to shape, to be put back in the furnace,
Just as a flower wilts away,
You spread the seeds far and wide,
And plant and root them firmly on good ground,
Do the same for me Lord.

Even when my flickering heart wanders away,
Don't begrudge me Lord,
I am yours forever, and forever more.

Calm the storm,
Pull me out of the raging sea,
Guide me over the mountain,
Through the mist and fog,
I come to you Lord,
Anew, afresh, and forever yours.

Virgin penis??

I remembered when I was in high school, an innocent little teenager (really!), my English teacher told me that the way to tell a guy if he is a virgin is the presence of a GREEN vein. Innocently, I believed her... and never checked the truth of her statement. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Vincent and I were discussing issues about marriage (he's getting married in May!!- I think) and we went on talking about his experience having marriage couselling in church, since he was living with his partner already and had pre-marital sex, and it went on to maintaining the sparks in a relationship and then I don't know how the topic of male virginity came up. And so I recalled what my English teacher told me. Of course, Vincent hasn't noticed a green vein on his penis before, but told me he would have a closer look. He didn't have it. Not surprising, since he wasn't a virgin anymore. From then on, several other guys in the lab have checked for the "green vein" but none have it (and none of them are virgins). So, I still don't know whether the "green vein theory" is true or false. It's hard to find a virgin guy!!! I mean, what if a guy has masturbated before? Does that count as losing virginity? And Vincent says ALL guys have had an erection before, and neither does he think checking his 5 year old cousin is a good idea. Like science, some experiments just can't be done.... *any virgin guys out there... please volunteer as a sample subject for my experiment, and report your findings, just YES or NO will suffice, no descriptions please* ;)

We googled instead and this came up:

"I had sex for the first time last month with my boyfriend of three years. Since I was gone for two years of that time, I have a hard time trusting whether or not he had sex with anyone else. I asked him and he said 'no.' But my question is, do men have a vein beneath their penis that makes them a virgin, and wears out after they have sex a couple of times? I'm only 18 and a first timer.

ShaIf you have a hard time believing he was faithful, then why did you make love with him? Just as he must take your word that you didn't sleep with anyone else, you must do the same.There is really no way to know for sure if he was no longer a virgin. And no, there is no vein beneath a man's penis that wears away. Blood flows through a vein, so its disappearance is unlikely.From this point in the relationship you have two options: you can either take his word for it and continue with the relationship, or you could leave him and move on.

Donald Zimmer"

Apparently I'm not the only person who think men with green veins on their penis are virgins. Must check my husband next time, on our first night! Hahahah! He'd BETTER have it.... or I'll have to take his word for it...

Whatever

Vincent gave this song to me, when I told him I really HATE it when people says "Whatever". It shows lack of concern... it annoys and upsets me A LOT when people say that to me!! Cool song though. Not my usual type of song, but it's funny.

Great songs for free??

Check this out! http://www.c3worship.com/index.cfm?module=login

I think it's such a great idea! Great songs... for FREE!!! I love it! Hahaha!

And no... it's NOT an April Fool's joke!

"Birthed in Sydney Australia, Christian City Church now has over 200 vibrant churches globally. C3worship.com is the source of great music from these churches that will impart life and power to your congregation or simply your iPod.
Our albums are a fusion of Australian and American talent.
The vision of C3 is to plant churches in every major city around the world - 1000 by the year 2020.
We want you to have the music for free - no cost. If you're a musician, you can grab the chord charts from our backstage pass area. We ask just one thing from you... tell the world!"

For more about this great church check out: http://www.c3iglobal.org/

It's sure to transform your life!!! It certainly did mine!! From a City Harvest-er I became a CCC-er. But CHC still holds a tender spot in my heart! ;)

Weather

It's getting warmer!!!! Yippee!!

Updates

Been really busy the last few weeks, especially after coming back from Colorado, USA. Working my heads off trying to finish up my paper so that I can have a relaxing and deserving holiday in May when I get back home. It's only 4 weeks before I go home, and yet I have 1001 things to do!! Asked for a construct from someone like more than 1 month ago, and finally just received it this week!! That construct is like THE construct I need to have a good mechanism for my paper, and now I find that the construct isn't in the right vector, and I need to subclone it. That'll take another week!! And that's 3 weeks left.... then chances of me finishing up my paper by end of April is getting slimmer and slimmer.... and I am apparently getting slimmer and slimmer too!! I've been eating double portion, but I keep getting hungrier and hungrier, and my jeans is getting lower and lower.... now I look like those rappers with the jeans hanging halfway down the butt. Honestly, if it wasn't for my hip bone, it would just fall off. Dunno where all my food went to... maybe what they say about using the brain burns up the most calories is true. Tanki bocor... have to gain back the weight when I get back to KL. Makan time!! Can't wait!!

Anyway, haven't had a chance to blog about my trip to Colorado yet. So here it is. On Valentine's Day, I flew to Denver Intl Airport, having a stopover in Detroit. I had 2 hour waiting time, so I walked around, hoping to do some good shopping. Much to my dissapointment, there wasn't much, but saw a really cool tunnel which connects the two terminal. Of course, everyone was staring at this "China-mui" or "Japanese" tourist ooh-ing and aah-ing and taking a video of the super cool tunnel.

After that, got a little hungry, and my eye spotted Chillis. Since it's pretty popular in Malaysia, thought I should try the ORIGINAL one! Being the hungry carnivour that I am, I ordered the mixed grill fajitas, and a coke. Like all American restaurants, the meal was super sized! Got 2 plates for one order! Even the coke is refillable.... and the first cup itself is already the size of a big jug of beer.

The food was a little too salty for me. The prawns were really good though. But my eyes were half drooping by then, and could hardly have the energy to chew. Ate one fajitas (they gave 3!) and all the meat. And did not have a refill. The waitress asked me at least 5 times whether I wanted a refill.... but even the sugar boost was not enough to wake me up. Tried to go online coz I missed chatting with Sam, but couldn't get a good signal. Sighz...

By the time I arrived at DIA, it was already late, and I missed the last direct shuttle to Colorado Springs where I wanted to spend a few days sightseeing. Had to catch a bus to the Greyhound bus station in downtown Denver. Was told that the bus to Colorado Springs was gonna depart at 11.55pm. While waiting, I chit-chatted with a guy who works in film sound recordings. He was going to have a romantic cosy weekend with his girlfriend, and spent 2 nights intead at the bus station due to snow storms. Poor guy.... oh for the sake of love.....

12.05am.... my bus was still not here. Panic!!!!! Then realized my phone doesn't work in US coz it' dual band!!! Double panic!!!!! (to be continued....)

BN won!

BN won.... as expected, but opposition party has taken 5 states! Whatever it is, I hope both the ruling and opposition party will use their power for good, and not misuse it. Let us be Malaysians and not Malays, Chinese and Indians. I hope one day soon, there will be no racial discrimination... not in education, finance, business etc. If we've reached a point of 0% poverty, then there is no reason for unequality anymore. "The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labour." (Proverbs 12:24). Laziness is not an excuse to help people step up.... whoever wants to succeed must strive for it!!!!! Let us pray for the wisdom of our leaders.....

Something smells fishy and it's not coming frm my aquarium...

Got this off thestar.com.my

However, Abdul Rashid added that he still could not announce the results for a few states including Penang, Perak and Selangor as there was no single clear winner to form the state governments in these respective places.
“That is why I cannot make an announcement now unless there is a coalition formed in such states,” he said.

And in the same website:

For Penang: DAP has 19 seats, BN 11 seats, and others 10 seats....
What the......Isn't it obvious DAP has the majority??? Since it's quite unlikely that BN will form a coalition with the opposition.... or will they just to keep the DAP from ruling Penang??? Or maybe I'm just missing something...

I don't care who rules.... BN, DAP, PAS, PKR.... Lord, all I want is a country where corruption does not rise sky high, and where there is equality, and everyone is living in peace and harmony. I may be far away, but Malaysia's my home, where my roots are. Give the leaders of Malaysia wisdom Lord.... and tear down those who are evil....

Flower power

Flowers from my dearie.... was so touched! My first bouquet from him..... and I wasn't expecting it! It was such a surprise that I didn't even open the door to receive it, and ignored the note from the florist, assuming it was for my housemates. It was a good surprise! So sweet and romantic of him! And pretty pink ones too... just the way I like it! Heheh! The flower on the last pic just bloomed today! Absolutely beautiful!

Scholarship

Got this in my email on Thursday:

Dear Jin Ming Tee,

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have been chosen by Dr. Joanna L. Groden and Randall T. Moon to receive a Keystone Symposia scholarship up to $1000 to help defray travel and lodging expenses associated with your attendance to the upcoming meeting on Wnt/beta-Catenin Signaling in Development and Disease, Feb 17 - Feb 22, 2008, in Keystone Resort in Keystone, Colorado. The award is made possible through the National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Grant #1R13HD057682-01.

Attached are important reimbursement rules you must follow to receive funding.

I was thrilled to know that I got the scholarship. (Almost couldn't believe my eyes actually) Not because of the sum of money, but more because my work has been acknowledged as being of interest to others and of significant quality. Last year, when I was chosen to give a talk in the Zebrafish Conference in Amsterdam, people in the lab were "gossiping" that I did not deserve it, and I got it merely because ppl in our institute, including my supervisor, were the organizers. That wasn't true because my supervisor said that it was the people outside the institute that were adamant about me presenting, and ppl in our institute were the ones against it. It was quite disheartening, especially since the people who were against it were ppl that I respected. Regardless, I ignored the gossips and spent hours and hours, staying till the wee hours of the morning, to give a good presentation and to prove that I deserved it. It all went well, but there was still a whisper in my heart always that I did not deserve it.

This time, I got the scholarship out of my own ability (and of course my supervisor's help in guiding me). Nobody can say that strings were pulled. Even though it's a Wnt meeting, our director Hans Clevers is not the organizer and neither is he attending, and even his students in his lab did not get the scholarship. It felt good. Really good. Thank you God!! (and my dearie for your support and prayer always) =) I am blessed!

Tagged

Got tagged by my sis Sherry:



Questions:
1. What was your dream when you were a small kid?
To be a wife and mother. It's still my dream, but I've added some other dreams along the way while growing up.



2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
So many happy things had happened in my whole life, but most of them were only for that moment in time, the exhilaration didn't last that long... but the one thing that I'm still happy about with renewing happiness is knowing Jesus.


3. What do you wish to have now?
My darling next to me!


4. How should the world be seen?
Through my eyes... muahahah!


5. What have you realized recently?
I'm blessed beyond what I can imagine


6. Do you think a day which consist of 24 hours is enough for you?
Nope, 48 hours/day wud be better.... unless it means 3 months before I go home, becomes 6 months!! Then 24 hours is enough....

7. When you have something which you are unhappy about, what will you do?
Hug my pillow (if I had my big teddy bear that would be better) and cry (if I can), and if not go out for shopping therapy (gosh... it must be genetic....)

8. Do you think that you feel helpless, or useless sometimes?
Sometimes.... although rarely...

9. When you meet someone that you like, will you profess or hide your feeling?
Erm... usually I hide it, but I professed my feelings last year, and boy am I thankful I mustered up the courage!

10. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.
Hypocrites, arrogant bastards/bitches, complainers.

11. What is loneliness?
Not having someone to share your happiness with.

12. Are you satisfied with your life now?
Yup very much so, although having ppl I love next to me would be better, they are scattered everywhere...hmmm... humans, never satisfied.

13. When was the most recent time you felt touched?
Last week.

14. Where is the place that you visited and you felt the most beautiful?
Switzerland (generally), but I love the castles in the Loire Valley in France.

15. Do you feel that you're beautiful/handsome now?
Yes, but I feel I could look so much better with a better wardrobe and some make-up... reason to go shopping eh?

16. If you have one wish that'll come true, what is it?
To forever spend my life next to the one I love, the sooner the better.

17. Do you have anything to worry or to be scared about recently?
Yea, wondering how I can finish my work by April.

18. If the World is going to end, what will you do?
Make sure ppl I love will be with me after that.

19. Your thoughts of the moment?
Mmmmm..... is Sam awake yet? Mustn't let him know I'm still awake!

20. What is something fun you are going to do today?
Work....work and more work....

Thinnest laptop?

New MacBook Air... thickness 21mm!!! Technology is getting crazier and crazier.... you can even fit it in a manila envelope!

And this is possibly the first fully functional laptop, made in the year of my birth:

How's that for advancement?

But nothing beats my Fujitsu Lifebook! Bought and given with love.... =)

Crafts

Been pretty stressed out lately... everytime I close my eyes, I think about all the things I have to do. Cannot sleep well. Too many things, until a point where I don't even want to start doing them. Anyway, found a de-stresser:

http://www.readymech.com/

and

http://cp.c-ij.com/english/3D-papercraft/

Free stuff and good fun!

New jacket!

Winter sales is here, did some shopping and bought a new jacket for me and my someone far away. Good bargain, got my Esprit for 50% off! Love the Michelin tires look! Make me look a tad fatter! And North Face for someone who loves physical outdoor activities.