Why God why?

Sometimes I don't understand why God allows His good faithful children to suffer illnesses. No matter how hard I tried to think logically, I just don't understand, and I probably never will. My aunt has a growth in her stomach, that has to be removed. They don't know whether it's benign or malignant, and apparently, it's also quite hard to determine whether it has spread. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with chronic lymphoblastic leukaemia. I never heard about it for awhile, so I assumed that everything was alright, and that it just disappeared or the doctors were wrong. She's always very careful with what she eats... and maintains a good diet. I did some google-ing and apparently, stomach cancer is induced by eating too much salty food, and not enough fruits and vegetables. That actually sounds more like me than her! Now I look at my instant noodles, and I don't even know whether I want to eat them anymore. I love my aunt very very much. When I was in university (UPM), I had an "incident" with my housemate, which made me want to move out immediately. I just cried, and called my aunt and asked whether I could stay with her. And without even questioning me, she said yes. I stayed there for a year or so. She's been also the one who's been praying for my salvation all these while. I enjoyed all the chats we had when I was staying with her. She's an aunt, and she's also like a good friend. We had such good laughs together, teasing each other. And nobody actually told me that she is sick. I had to find out from my cousin's blog! Sighz. I hate it sometimes. I want to know what's going on with the people I love. I don't want to be just told happy stories. I want to share the difficult moments as well. Isn't that what family is about? I wish that I could be there for my aunt, and my cousins. It must hard for all of them. Despite how annoying and irresponsible and naughty and lazy and trouble-causing my cousins are, they love their mum, and it must be a difficult moment for them. I called my aunt's house a couple of times, but never ever able to reach them. Either nobody's in, or line gets cut off. That's the most difficult thing about being far away. I never get to be there for the people I love. Happy moments like my sis' wedding and my niece's birth I wasn't there to witness it.... sad moments like my grandparent's death and now my aunt's operation, also I'm no able to be there to give emotional support. All I can do is pray... pray... pray. Lord, I really put Ah-Yee into your mighty hands. Heal her Lord. Give her and my cousins strength Lord to go through this. And give the doctors wisdom and steady hands to perform the operation well. She is Yours Lord! Heal her, and remove every single thing that shouldn't be in her body. And Lord, let her have quick and complete recovery! I trust You Lord, and I put all my faith in You. And if you believe in God, pray with me too ok?

Theory Exam

I passed my Driving Theory Exam!! Woo hoo!! Now can go on the next step to take the practical exam. Halfway there to getting my driving license... and be someone's "chauffeur"

Minimum requirement to pass is 6 mistakes and that's what I got!! Hahaha!! The questions asked were really stupid. Some questions asked during the exam which I still don't know what the answer is:

Q: For whom do you have to adjust the head rest properly?

A. The driver

B. The driver and front passenger

C. The driver and all passengers

Q: How long does it take for your body to break down a normal glass of alcohol?

A. 15 minutes

B. 1 hour

C. 1 hour 30 minutes

In the book, I know it's 0.1 promille per hour.... but how many promille is a glass of alcohol!?!?!!?!?! How many promille is a pint of beer?!?!?! Shucks!!! At that moment, I just wished that I drink alcohol! I just put C.... figured take 50/50 chance..... its either B or C, but obviously the longer, the better no?

Question from book:

Q: Before you start to overtake...

A. You must always correctly judge the speed and distance of oncoming traffic

B. You realize that you are not always able to judge the speed o oncoming traffic correctly

Answer= B (what the?!?!?) Obviously Malaysian logic and Dutch logic is different!

Really a miracle I passed!!! Sam texted me "I'm sure you passed with flying colours...." Hahahahah!! I almost laughed my head off! Out of 16 people taking the exam, only 5 of us passed!!! That's like less than 1/3 passing rate leh! Crazy!! I'm sooo thankful I passed! Before the exam, there was a girl (also from Utrecht) sitting next to me, looking at her notes, and asked me some questions she didnt understand. And she was sooo lucky, because I dunno why I just flipped open the book, and I happened to come across some stuff which I thought were confusing, and explained the differences to her, and told her to be careful. It must be a moment of revelation..... because 4 questions came out from that part!!!! She passed the exams too, also 44/50 like me! Hahahah!

Why so difficult? First, the exam is computerized and timed. For one question, I wanted to type in the answer 20cm (which I know for sure is the correct answer), and I accidentally pressed 2,0, and by the time i press cancel to change my answer, the timer was up!!!! Arrrrggghh!! The silly little computer keyboard thing is as small as the keys on the atm machine, how do they expect you to type so fast without making mistakes!!! And it's in a groove, so that you can't see each other's answer when they press the keys. And that makes it even harder, because you have to put your hand in an awkward position! But whatever it is... I passed!!! Woo hoo!!! Praised God!!! Other exams for uni, I put sweat and tears to study for it, and with God's grace I always do well. But this is like 100% God, I feel! Hahahahah!! Whoever is going to take the exam..... STUDY!!! It is definitely NOT easy!

Supervisors can surprise you...

Dana: Blah..blah... so Jin, we should really try to submit the paper before you go back home.

Jinny: Erm, yea... I'll see how it goes. We still have to subclone the gene, inject into the mutants, do immuno, and analyze.... and we have only 2 weeks or so left....

Dana: Well, you could cancel your holiday and go home later....

Jinny: Erm... so you're going to pay for my ticket then?

Dana: So how much is it?

Jinny: About 810 Euros.....

Dana: Well, yea I'll pay for it if you go home later.

Jinny: Well... erm.... ermmmmmmm........................................*speechless*

NO WAY!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!! MY WORK IS MY PASSION BUT THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT!! I WANNA SEE MY PARENTS, MY SISTERS, MY CUTE LITTLE NIECE (THAT I HAVEN'T EVEN MET!!), MY ADORABLE LIL' GRANDMA, MY AUNTS AND COUSINS AND OF COURSE MY DEARIE!!! EVEN IF SHE PAYS ME AN EXTRA 800 EUROS I WON'T POSTPHONE GOING HOME!!!!

Too many things

Too many things running through my brain,
Will I have time to rest or go insane,
My heart's a mess,
And my soul's all troubled,
Give me peace Lord,
Your grace I behold.

Too many things going on,
What should I choose to focus,
My head's spinning,
My gut feeling's jumbled,
Give me your guidance Lord,
Your wisdom will be my stronghold.

I am yours Lord
To mould, to shape, to be put back in the furnace,
Just as a flower wilts away,
You spread the seeds far and wide,
And plant and root them firmly on good ground,
Do the same for me Lord.

Even when my flickering heart wanders away,
Don't begrudge me Lord,
I am yours forever, and forever more.

Calm the storm,
Pull me out of the raging sea,
Guide me over the mountain,
Through the mist and fog,
I come to you Lord,
Anew, afresh, and forever yours.

Virgin penis??

I remembered when I was in high school, an innocent little teenager (really!), my English teacher told me that the way to tell a guy if he is a virgin is the presence of a GREEN vein. Innocently, I believed her... and never checked the truth of her statement. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Vincent and I were discussing issues about marriage (he's getting married in May!!- I think) and we went on talking about his experience having marriage couselling in church, since he was living with his partner already and had pre-marital sex, and it went on to maintaining the sparks in a relationship and then I don't know how the topic of male virginity came up. And so I recalled what my English teacher told me. Of course, Vincent hasn't noticed a green vein on his penis before, but told me he would have a closer look. He didn't have it. Not surprising, since he wasn't a virgin anymore. From then on, several other guys in the lab have checked for the "green vein" but none have it (and none of them are virgins). So, I still don't know whether the "green vein theory" is true or false. It's hard to find a virgin guy!!! I mean, what if a guy has masturbated before? Does that count as losing virginity? And Vincent says ALL guys have had an erection before, and neither does he think checking his 5 year old cousin is a good idea. Like science, some experiments just can't be done.... *any virgin guys out there... please volunteer as a sample subject for my experiment, and report your findings, just YES or NO will suffice, no descriptions please* ;)

We googled instead and this came up:

"I had sex for the first time last month with my boyfriend of three years. Since I was gone for two years of that time, I have a hard time trusting whether or not he had sex with anyone else. I asked him and he said 'no.' But my question is, do men have a vein beneath their penis that makes them a virgin, and wears out after they have sex a couple of times? I'm only 18 and a first timer.

ShaIf you have a hard time believing he was faithful, then why did you make love with him? Just as he must take your word that you didn't sleep with anyone else, you must do the same.There is really no way to know for sure if he was no longer a virgin. And no, there is no vein beneath a man's penis that wears away. Blood flows through a vein, so its disappearance is unlikely.From this point in the relationship you have two options: you can either take his word for it and continue with the relationship, or you could leave him and move on.

Donald Zimmer"

Apparently I'm not the only person who think men with green veins on their penis are virgins. Must check my husband next time, on our first night! Hahahah! He'd BETTER have it.... or I'll have to take his word for it...

Whatever

Vincent gave this song to me, when I told him I really HATE it when people says "Whatever". It shows lack of concern... it annoys and upsets me A LOT when people say that to me!! Cool song though. Not my usual type of song, but it's funny.

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